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UX & Product Designer - Chi Wai Li

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My Surprising Fear of Public Speaking



As a entrepreneur it’s inevitable for me to have to pitch my ideas to different people, whether it is to potential investors, partners, clients or just staff. I should be able to present my idea clearly.
Last Friday was the 3rd time I had to present my idea in front of a group of people and I was still far too nervous. My heart was racing, legs shaking and mind was completely blank. I was originally worried about going over 5 mins, but ended up finishing at 4:10, not because I was speaking too fast but because I actually missed out a big chunk of my presentation, … I am of course disappointed at myself, but I am also incredibly curious on why this happens. The transformation is interesting but also painful.

But I’m not normally like this

Being a reasonably confident (read, thick skinned/shameless) person, I’m actually somewhat surprised by how nervous I get, I don’t normally have any problem talking in a small group of friends, but when there are masses of strangers, its entirely a different story. I am perfectly comfortable leading fitness classes, is it the material that I’m nervous about? Maybe a lack of confidence in my project GetFit.hk?
Another strange thing I noticed was the fact that being MORE comfortable with than Q&A than the presentation it self. I would have thought the need to be able to react to whatever question would be harder and therefore I would be even less comfortable, but i guess not, at least not for me.

Some amazing advices from my friends

Please note this list on giving presentation, and does not cover advices on the business side. My own thoughts are in blue

  • Janis:  but if you can be more assertive and humorous (like when you’re socializing out there) and start with a story (of how you come across this idea from your family), it will be great  and you can do it!
  • Oliver: The best thing of entrepreneurship is that it makes you step out your comfort zone and have breakthrough!  (I guess I am stepping out of my comfort zone, so it’s only normal for me to feel so uneased)
  • Eric: I remember when I first spoke in court, I felt myself calm. Then I looked at my hands and saw them shaking (Lesson here is, the nerves could play with your mind)
  • Jennifer: Practice really does make perfect. I tend to focus on one or two people in the audience and pretend I’m just talking to them. (I like this advice, maybe it would intimate me less – Jennifer has a PhD so I would definiately listen to her)
  • JM: I always take a shot or a drink before hand (I go BRIGHT red when i drink… so this could be a bad idea for me)
  • Jeffery:took an acting workshop, it helps. (Good idea, I might do just that, to learn how to feel at less nervous in front of others) 
    And for all the people who say: “I’m never nervous”: you lie. 
    Don’t matter if you forgot a piece of your presentation, the people listening didn’t know you forgot, because they didn’t know what you were going to tell them in the first place. 
    And: “never say sorry” (Good point, I guess apart from the awkwardness in the story where I missed out a big chuck, no one would have really noticed)
  • Nathanial: Best advice iv heard is remember the audience wants to hear what you have to say (Not so sure about this one, but I would like to think it’s true)
  • Vivanne: When I have to speak in public I try to just have me key words and then kind of speak like I usually do in a conversation. Because, in my opinion, the more important part is to get the message through to the audience then to get all the info out there. But when I have pitches to make it is with an audience who don’t really get impressed with jargon or technical words, but more humanly understandable terms.(This is exactly my problem, I find I’m rather particular in how I want to tell my story, I want to use exact words because I feel they do a better job at communication, but clearly the problem is that I wasn’t able to memorise the whole thing, So I think I will have to try this approach next time)
  • Kenny: Obligatory psychology advice:
    • Body language is important, not just for your audience’s reactions but for yourself as well. Force yourself to stand firm and upright, chin up, facing the audience, and this will be a natural boost to your confidence, esp. over allowing yourself the evolutionary instinct of scrunching up after embarrassment or a mistake. Being apologetic does not help you or the audience. (Fake it til you make it, so I got to learn to walk the walk and hopefully it will help me talk the talk)
    • Check out info on the Spotlight Effect, a theory that originated from Gilovich (2000). Basically, people don’t tend to notice or remember the things you do nearly as much as you do or you think they do. (Ada Wong suggested the same to me, to evoke emotions with my talk but the only way I could work emotion into my talk is to guilt trip people, another friend of mine wasn’t too keen on this slap-in-the-face approach, I am curious if that would have work so I might try for it next time)
    • Attributions (or “self-talk”) also have major effects on your motivation and resilience. Make sure you acknowledge all the things you did well (it helps to ask friends), and avoid allowing yourself to cringe at errors – instead view them as workable objectives for each time afterwards. Try different rituals to amp yourself up or calm yourself down before each time you talk. For me personally, what’s worked is to visualize myself doing an amazing job for the first 10-20 seconds, and I can usually ride that momentum through. (Make perfect sense to me, I used to visualise great performance in sports, make sense to do the same here)
    • Finally, it certainly would help to take an acting class – after all, we’re always acting in front of people anyway. However, “acting” doesn’t mean you have to be fake. Don’t bother memorizing a script. Familiarize yourself with a simple “flow” of information/key points, and speak from your heart the rest of the way. Passion and sincerity can be much more effective at winning an audience than a flawless but robotic speech. (Like Vivanne mentioned, I should remember key points only, this way i can deliver with more passion and sincerity)
  • Tony already knew of my struggle with public speaking and suggested I look into this ted talk by Amy Cuddy  Your Body Language shapes who you are (Very similar to what Kenny mentioned above, the key take away for me is how you act/pretend can effect how you feel)

 

What I learnt

  1. I need to spend a lot more time practicing my pitch, the few hours leading up to it was not enough
  2. Don’t try to memorise word for word
  3. Don’t try to throw too much in there. I had visions of being really funny, but also make people feel guilty and wanting them to understand my concept, idea, business model and drive. I still have this problem.
  4. Taking deep breathes didn’t work for me, i later read that the trick is actually focus on the exhale, the inhale will then come in natrually instead of being forced (Little known fact, Our heartbeat actually slows down when we inhale)
  5. It helps when I see people in the audience smiling, even if there were my friends.
  6. Filming myself to walk through the step helps, but i need to do it without paper
  7. Reminder cards are ok, as long as I don’t READ
  8. CHECK slide spelling
  9. Check SPELLING on slide

Yes, This is an actual slide I used in front of audience of 150+
Yes, This is an actual slide (looking without the ‘K’) I used in front of audience of 150+

Other references

  1. http://thenextweb.com/lifehacks/2014/06/20/become-confident-public-speaker/
  2. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/richard-newman/standing-out-in-business_b_5408844.html